I think the schedule for the Super Bowl halftime show is about to start now, so I have a plan. Stay here with me.
Today, under the leadership of Roger “The Panderer” Goodell and Jay-Z, the NFL’s secretary of backward-facing garbage, the selection of any vulgarity that screams the word, grabbing the crotch, N-word-spitting, woman-objectifying, violent – swearing, ass-twerking act that can fit on a stage made it to the mark.
Under Goodell, the Super Bowl halftime show has become an annual showcase for America’s most corrosive, values-starved entertainment — set for mass, Sunday night, prime-time family viewing.
And the shameless Goodell gets a terrifying look at the entertainment media every year from those who would rather put rubbish on the planet than risk being ridiculed by those who have been given poison as popular culture.
And if that were not indisputable, it would seem impossible.
This Super Bowl would be a wise, welcome moment to reverse that trend, as the NFL faces yet another image problem as a remnant of a reality problem: the league is even loaded with antisocial bad guys, including criminals.
The NFL, as if Goodell didn’t know what he would never admit, desperately needs a course change, and the Super Bowl halftime show would be just the place to show it.
Here’s my idea:
Bring in a complete, renowned philharmonic orchestra to play one of America’s greatest pieces of music, George Gershwin’s 1924 “Rhapsody In Blue” — a rousing, mood-changing symphony that blends classical, jazz, and rhythm-and-blues and takes it to a dramatic orchestral climax.
There are only good reasons why ‘Rhapsody in Blue’ remains in people’s minds nearly 100 years later, why it was selected as the music to sell soaring commercial airline flights, why its many versions and artists are growing, why it is a classic. Check YouTube.
And call in a flamboyant pianist like Khatia Buniatishvili to handle the many and varied solos. She knows how to play for a varied audience. She would stun them here, there and everywhere.
“Rhapsody in Blue”, which lasts up to 12 minutes at the discretion of the conductor, is the perfect length to fill the silence with something better than Snoop Dogg tugging at his genitals while patting vulgarities or Jennifer Lopez holding on to the a stripper’s pole as she shakes her mostly exposed derriere in the face of the nation.
More: The stadium for Super Bowl LVII on Feb. 12 in Glendale, Arizona, has a retractable roof, closing it off to amplify the music with a dreamy light show that would feed the feel and feed the sounds.
What does the NFL have to lose? His dignity? It was sold years ago. It’s time to see if it can bring something back.
I guarantee that, if done right, “Rhapsody in Blue” would be the best of all Super Bowl rests — and at a time when the NFL, more than ever, needs to emphasize good over bad, a year off have to take the boat through the gutter.
It could introduce even younger viewers to something different, something better, something more skillful, more challenging, and beyond what low-common denominator commercial questions demand of them.
It would, at least for one Sunday night, and before it’s too late to return to a place the NFL has never been to, an opportunity to prove that the league hasn’t quite given up on what it seems too easy to do. have specified: class.
Brees leans on ‘bet life’ scam
Of all the big names who have sold their names and reputations to sports gambling companies that depend on suckers to lose their money, only recognized problem gambler Charles Barkley stands out as ugly and greedy as Drew Brees.
In the TV ads, in which Brees appears as a shill not to lose, he encourages fools not only to bet on games, but also to bet more on those games while they are in progress. Yes, get heavy and deep in every game!
And if that were a good idea for gamblers, no gambling operation would push it any more than it would plot its own demise.
Then, smiling, Brees encourages viewers – primary target audience: young men – to “live your ‘bet’ life!”
That’s right, spend your life betting on the games and during the games too! When tapping, leave a message for Brees. He’ll call you right back.
The hopeful notion that, with John Sterling calling fewer road races, radio coverage from the Yankees would be easier to suffer—perhaps even a summer weekend where we can enjoy games again while listening in the yard—has been thwarted by Suzyn Waldman.
Her eagerness to be heard dominates – overwhelmingly – the substitute play-by players with her self-appointed superior knowledge has become the remaining burden of Sterling-free radio.
Well, nobody knows more about pitching than Waldman. She identifies two-seamers, four-seamers, 12-seamers, non-seamers, steamed seamers, seamed steamers, cutters, sinkers, vowels, blinkers and winkers, sliders plain and with cheese, ketchup, and pickles.
What use are such calls to a radio audience? “Boy, that really sounded like a four seam!” How about fastball or pitching just to get started?
Last Sunday, she declared that Yankees reliever Jonathan Loaisiga was healed when he faced his first batter, Yadier Molina. And after Molina, who batted .208, came out, she declared that Loaisiga “had his swagger back.”
Loaisiga then gave up a single and walked two in a row to give up an earned run and two hits in a third of an inning, before getting a jerk. He trotted to the dugout.
Why Waldman, who has had this job since 2005, feels that in the absence of Sterling she has to hit us in the head with such irrelevant details is a mystery.
Hitter specialists can’t hit
The Tigers, in a 4-3 home loss on Thursday against Cleveland, had a lineup of six batters hitting .221, .204, .000 (0-for-8 this season), .195, .141 and .152.
Also, the Diamondbacks at Pirates on Thursday included a total of 13 players hitting under .230, including six under .200.
Then there was the Rob Manfred No-Pitchers-Hit/No-Strategy-DH Game of the Week: The Giants’ LaMonte Wade, who batted .187, against the Athletics’ Jed Lowrie, who batted .185. They were 0-for-6. Good to have those extra sticks in the lineup!
On the day he announced his retirement, in October 2020, Doc Emrick received a congratulatory phone call from another retiree: Vin Scully.
Howie Rose, after Game 1 last Saturday, Mets 8, Braves 5: “It took an utterly ridiculous 3 hours and 53 minutes to play 8 ¹/₂ innings.” It was also a rare home game for Mets on Saturday afternoon at 1 PM, just because it was a figment of a rainstorm.
Both Max Scherzer and Jacob deGrom ignored standing ovations at match exits last week. Not even a nod. That stinks. And rising PGA star Cameron Young, of Westchester, seems to respond to applause with scorn.
If he hasn’t already driven you to distraction, YES’s Cameron Maybin delivers once in a while. On Tuesday, he said that while the Yankees and Mariners have complained endlessly about Ramon De Jesus at home plate, he has seen De Jesus as accurate and consistent. Rare to hear on Yankees broadcasts.
Disturbing reports persist that Fox analyst Daryl “Moose” Johnston will be promoted to its No. 2 NFL team. Johnston, who has never seen a football game not worth a lengthy speech, has been blasting Fox NFL broadcasts since he was hired in 2001.
.
0 Comments