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It is written in the book of Revelations (or maybe it is in “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”) that in the end times all mountains and valleys will be leveled with the plains and we assume that from those Great Plains a Jayhawk will rise up the axes .

Well, the apocalypse is coming. Thank you very much, Lance Leipold.

Yes, Kansas is 4-0. And it’s not just a schedule-driven, wafer-thin 4-0. The Jayhawks defeated undefeated Dukeon on Saturday, throwing for 324 yards, rushing for 204 and looking to be one of the most dynamic offenses in the country. This comes on the heels of an overtime win against West Virginia and a surprise surprise from Houston.

Kansas, dare we say, is real.

To understand how wild that sounds, remember that the last time Kansas won four games in an entire season, “Avatar” was in theaters. (OK, we’re told that “Avatar” is somehow back in theaters now. Is this Kansas season just CGI from James Cameron?)

The Jayhawks went to the Orange Bowl in 2007, won eight games in 2008 and stumbled to a 5-7 finish in 2009. What followed was the most prolific comedic run since Bob Hope. What shall we laugh about now? Will it even be funny the next time Kansas beats Texas?

Kansas spent ten years trying quick fixes like Charlie Weis and Les Miles and emerging coaches like Turner Gill and David Beatty. We’re pretty sure the Jayhawks resorted to a shaman and a wax figure of Bear Bryant at one point. None of it helped. Then Leipold arrived and it was as if the program awoke from a long sleep.

Think of the litany of players who have come through Lawrence over the past 15 years. Seriously, think of them, because honestly we can’t remember any. For a generation of college football fans in Kansas, Baby Mangino was the closest thing to a celebrity, and he’s now a retired sanitation worker living outside of Sarasota, Florida, collecting Social Security (again, we assume).

But now there are stars. Jalon Daniels threw for 324 yards on Saturday, ran for 83 more and had five touchdowns. Jayhawks boosters might as well go chipping for a statue of the man now. Four different Kansas receivers caught a touchdown against Duke. In 2020, four different Kansas receivers caught a touchdown all season! Kansas has a cornerback named Cobee Bryant. Sure, it’s spelled differently than the more famous Kobe, but “C” is a more versatile letter than “K” and the extra “E” stands for “excellence,” which these Jayhawks have been.

And no, it probably doesn’t mean the end is near. If Kent State had allayed the turmoil over Georgia or Central Michigan, stayed with Penn State or had beaten Wake Forest against Clemson, it might be time to go to the underground bunker.

But these are strange times. The Jayhawks are not only relevant, they are really good.

Perhaps there is a lesson in this for all of us — something about persevering in adversity and knowing that hard work will one day be rewarded. Or maybe it’s that you should never give Charlie Weis a long-term contract. Both options are good advice.

The remaining schedule will be tougher with Iowa State, undefeated TCU, and then three straight-ranked enemies. Maybe this is the Jayhawks high water mark for 2022. If so, that’s good. Because we’ve seen a new horizon for a team that has been steadily hitting a brick wall for the past 15 years like a video game character after your cat settles on the controller. But now Kansas is something more — a program with a heartbeat, a team moving in the right direction, a fan base not just counting down the days until basketball season.

Punt-a-palooza on the plains

Saturday may have been the day it all ended for Bryan Harsin in Auburn, with Missouri — the SEC version of the kid in “Old Yeller” — putting him out of his misery.

The college football gods wouldn’t let him go so easily.

Instead, Harsin — and the rest of us — were forced to endure as unfortunate a pillow fight as the season is likely to offer (although Iowa will certainly try to match it).

A quick overview of the second half drive chart, with the score equal to 14: Punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, turnover on downs, missed field goal.

(To answer your question, yes, Kevin Warren has extended an offer for both teams to join the Big Ten.)

That last ride was the most insulting. Auburn had collected nothing on offense and was quarterback until his fourth-string. Missouri drove to the 3-yard line to set up a first-and-goal with 45 seconds left. Then the Tigers — Missouri’s — took a knee twice to score a winning field goal in third place.

And of course the kicker missed.

Auburn won it in overtime 17-14 after kicking a field goal after a run in which it ran three games and lost 2 yards. But to be fair, Mizzou really lost the match after messing with the ball in the end zone when it had his chance to win in OT.

So it was with great pain that Harsin had to cancel his starting time this Saturday so that he can coach this team again. Has the man not suffered enough?

Bowers pounding the rock

Brock Bowers is a tight ending. He’s an incredibly talented tight end, of course, but a tight end nonetheless.

And yet Georgia found it necessary to use Bowers as a runner three times this season. Those three runs resulted in a 5-yard touchdown, a 75-yard touchdown and a 2-yard touchdown.

To sum up for those who aren’t very good at math, that’s three rushes and three rushing touchdowns.

How impressive is that? Well, Massachusetts is a whole football team. Bowers is a man. UMasshas 201 rush attempts this year. Bowers has three. UMass has two hasty TDs. Bowers has three.

We can’t help but wonder, if Mike had Bobo Bowers in his backfield instead of just Todd Gurley and Sony Michel and Nick Chubb and Keith Marshall, how much heartache could have been saved among Georgia Twitter users?

Big bets and bad beats

DJ Uiagalelei managed to save Clemson from the abyss of defeat to Wake Forest on Saturday, but he failed to save a sizable contingent of gamblers. Clemson finished as a 7.5-point favorite at Caesars Sportsbook, with 82% of the tickets and 87% of the money on the Tigers. When the two teams reached a second overtime, things went well for Clemson to build up some shocking coverage. The Tigers scored first and had to go for 2 as per the rule. However, Uiagalelei’s pass was incomplete and Clemson won 51-45.