Many fans do not subscribe to superstitious actions, but many border on psychosis in their rituals. Let’s take a look at the behavior of a wildly superstitious Chiefs fan preparing for game day.
A few weeks ago I took you all on a Sherpa’d journey through the experience which is a Sunday at Arrowhead Stadium. One of the more sacred locations in North American sports and what many consider objectively the best place on Earth. Now let me introduce you to another ritualistic practice that plagues my existence throughout the football season.
Humans are without a doubt creatures of habit. Some of you do the same thing every day without realizing that you have been conditioned to do so. In fact, the basis of how most of us feed and care for ourselves on a daily basis is formed by habits learned from childhood. Besides eating breakfast, lunch and dinner and showering at the same time almost every day, brushing your teeth, doing your hair, plucking your eyebrows – whatever your morning routine consists of – we all have our usual quirks in life.
Some take the same walk through the neighborhood every night with their dog or family. Do some training every morning at the same time in the same gym. Others sit in the same chair in their house or apartment to take in high-quality Netflix shows or if you’re really reading a good old-fashioned book. Some meditate, some play video games, and some even blog at the same time every day.
Others go way too far with rituals. I’m not talking about anything perverse or occult here, keep your eyes on the road. I am, of course, talking about sports – football in particular, and the madness it can arouse in even the most mentally competent and emotionally calm individuals. Am I mentally capable and emotionally calm? Maybe and no. Anyone trying to tell you to be calm is probably not calm in the first place, but I certainly am not, especially when it comes to Chiefs football. But before you write this off as crazy talk, walk in my carefully selected shoes.
What makes a team happy?
You’ll find football guys everywhere who will tell you that happiness is when preparation meets opportunity. Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Chris Jones, even Andy Reid and the coaching staff work tirelessly around the clock all year round preparing for 17 Sundays from September to January. They grind, they sweat, they bleed, they eat Q39 in their office watching movies into the wee hours of the morning. They prepare relentlessly not only for their opponents, but also for situations that each season can throw at them. And when the work pays off and the opportunity presents itself, they excel.
NFL coaches, executives and players are some of the more driven people on the planet. But what really sends a team of championship caliber over the top from contender to champion? Does everything I mentioned above help? Well. Secure. But do you know what it really does?
The anonymous actions of fans across the country on the days – especially during the hours – that they play football matches.
We’re talking about every aspect of someone’s day that revolves around something they have no control over. Is it crazy? Absolute. But isn’t that part of the beauty of sports? ESPN famously ran an ad campaign in the early 2000s with the slogan “It’s not crazy, it’s sport”. If you’ve rooted for a team long enough, you’ve more than likely been driven mad by that organization, or at… very last know someone who has that. But you know what they say: it’s okay if it works.
What should I do to ensure maximum happiness for my favorite team?
I’m glad you ask.
To really understand, you have to wrap your head around what it means to be truly superstitious. Not just a little diligent. I’m talking super superstitious. As a child I was very close to my great-grandmother. She grew up in the South in the 20s and 30s – the dust bowl of the South. The birthplace of women’s stories. So to say I learned some things that I shouldn’t under any circumstances would be an understatement.
I am 34 years old. I have never knowingly crossed paths with a black cat. I’ve never stepped under a ladder. Never broken a mirror. I’ve never even clipped my fingernails or toenails on a Friday or a Sunday. I abstain from both because no one really ever knew which day was the right one, so I’ve been curiously terrified of both my whole life.
Once you begin to understand how my brain works, you will begin to understand how I operate on game days. At Arrowhead you park in the same spot (or at least close by, depending on availability). You drink the same drink combination. You come in at the same time, etc, etc, etc.
But it all really starts in advance and sinks in deeper when you watch from the safety of your own home.
What am I wearing?
Everyone knows that proper game day preparation starts with the right game day threads. A competition shirt is a must. Of course it gets cooler towards the end of the season, so make sure to choose a race day hoodie for the colder months. If you’re anything like me, you need consistency throughout the process. Competition shorts (and pants, it’s getting cold again) are highly recommended, but not as crucial as the shirt. If you live or have lived as a balding man, as I did for years, could I also interest you in a competition hat? For our female readers, a hat would work too — or you could even counter and rock a Chiefs headband, bow tie, or hair tie. Guys, help yourself to that too – not my style, but it takes all kinds to make the world go round.
We’re not just covering our mid-drifts here, folks. This is a head to toe exercise. That means finding and committing to a pair of competition shoes that you think will make 53 grown men play the best football possible. My choice? Got my Nike Killshots in… you guessed it, 2019. They work! Why would I change it? I do in the winter months when I’m in Football Mecca on Sundays, but otherwise it’s the tennies. Find what works for you, and rock it.
The last part of the clothing section is no doubt the most crucial. You are now set to what other people can look over your wardrobe, but what about what they? can not to see? This is no exaggeration – I wore the same underwear before and during every match for 3 years until they just got tattered. Your underwear is important. Your socks are important. If you’re an undershirt, that’s important. It all matters, but when you consider that undergarments are so close to the most important parts of your anatomy, I’d say underwear is the most crucial match day fan tradition.
caveat: In any of these scenarios, if the Chiefs are going to make a losing streak, consider switching it. You can always come back to it if the alternative doesn’t work. And always change your underwear in a responsible and hygienic way.
Where am I?
This can have many answers. It all depends on where you watch the game. If you’re always on the go, you might be watching from a phone, laptop, or tablet. That’s fine! For the more nomadic among us, I’d recommend finding a place that you consider A) most effective for your teams’ success and B) most comfortable, in that order. Bonus points if you are at an airport, bus stop or train station and you find a fellow traveler wearing your team’s gear to enjoy the game.
Watch at home? Here comes the annoying superstition back to play. I don’t care if you have a favorite armchair, if you watch from a certain sofa, or if you sit on the floor. I don’t care if you get up. Only commit to something. I sit in the exact same spot on my downstairs couch—the comfy couch—every time I watch the Chiefs at home. Do I always watch the Chiefs at home? No. But when I’m with my in-laws, you better believe I’m sitting in the same spot on their couch. When I’m at my parents’ house? The same. Follow the golden rule: commit, then sit.
caveat: If the Chiefs have flipped multiple checkers in a row, switch seats. There is bad energy everywhere, do what you can to change it. Be the wise.
Do I have to eat and drink the same thing every week?
Don’t be crazy. Of course you don’t have to eat the same thing every week. Each week’s menu should be carefully and individually crafted to maximize your nutritional needs for the given week and opponent.
Playing the Bills this week? Empower the people of Buffalo by making wings better than they ever dreamed. eagles? Cheesesteaks on the menu that would make Geno’s mouth water. What about a team like the Ravens, a food that would be repulsive to consume? Just grill a whole chicken and tell the people it’s a raven, I promise you it works and our quarterback will keep custody of them.
My point is that the menu can change. Honestly, it doesn’t have to have a theme every week. I would eat pizza for every meal, including match days, even if the Chiefs aren’t playing against a team from a city with a pizza-rich tradition. And while the food can rotate, I’d encourage you to have at least one game day drink that you keep coming back to. I have a general rule of thumb for my booze consumption on Sundays in the fall, but I won’t try to influence you in any way – you choose your own path on this one.
caveat: If you choose to consume adult beverages, do so responsibly. Nobody likes the drunk man who thinks the officials can hear him on the TV.
This sounds crazy. How do I know this is all going to work?
That’s the beauty of it all – you don’t.
Embrace the process. In Chiefs Kingdom specifically, we are privileged to watch a historically important part of consistent, high-level football. Since 2013 when Andy Reid took over, and most notably since 2018 when Patrick Mahomes was named the starting quarterback, the Chiefs have shed a historic tear, both from an offensive standpoint and from a team performance perspective. Being the first team to host four consecutive AFC championships is nothing to sneeze at, especially with two Super Bowl appearances and a Lombardi to show it off.
So why not try to push them to greater heights? Let’s face it, nothing we do affects the way the 53 guys play on the pitch. It just isn’t. Sure, we can get rowdy at Arrowhead and whip up the defense, that certainly helps. For those guys, the drive comes from within. But our quirky, if in some cases very personal, rituals we commit to on Sundays don’t really get the needle moving.
But when you wear the same shirt, the same shoes, sit in the same chair, with the same people, wear the same underwear and the team does something unexpectedly spectacular, you get a moment to wonder if the two things are on the same page. somehow strangely connected. If you’re really committed to it and your team finds real, consistent success, you may be fooling yourself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, you had something to do with it.
I know this all sounds crazy. But I promise you – it’s not crazy if it works.
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