In most game stories you can usually find a good balance between friendly people who want to help you on your way and obvious villain monsters who want to harm you. However, some games are not satisfied with that balance. No sir, it’s not a real ball game to absolutely everything want you dead.
When we say everything, we mean even the things that normally wouldn’t want you dead. That wall? It wants you dead. That piece of fruit? It wants you dead. The passage of time? well that always wanted you dead, but now it’s not even subtle.
10 The World’s Worst Theme Park – Illbleed
Explore Ilbleed
You always hear rumors of people dying in theme parks, but to Illbleed those numerous deaths are treated as free press coverage. The premise of Illbleed, both in terms of the titular theme park and the game itself, is that you have to use your senses to defuse various tricks and traps scattered throughout the rides.
If you’re not vigilant, you’ll either have countless sharp objects stuck in places you’d rather not have them, or you’ll be so startled that you’ll have a heart attack. Or both. Often both! There are several instances in the game’s story where the park workers brag about how many guests they’ve killed, and the rest of the world is just a little… okay for some reason.
9 The Internet Frustration Classic – I Wanna Be The Guy
While the idea of games deliberately designed to be excruciatingly difficult can be traced back to several ROM hacks released in 2007, one of the games that really popularized the concept was the freeware monster I Wanna Be The Guy. . It is sincerely it is not possible to beat this game on the first try because everything can kill you instantly, and often in completely random ways.
See those cherries on the first screen? Yes, they will kill you. The spike pit that seems really easy to jump over? Well, it’s not that easy when the pit suddenly gets bigger and swallows you. That’s even to mention all the giant boss fights. You know no pain until next week you get dragged in by a giant Mike Tyson.
8 Animated with malicious intent – Earthbound
Earthbound’s stable of enemies includes some sensible members, such as wild animals or street villains, but as you progress through the game, things get weirder and weirder. Ramblin’ Evil Mushrooms, dogs made from solid carbon, animated puppets, and more will all try to make a swing at Ness and the company if they get the chance.
According to the game’s story, all of these bizarre enemies, as well as instances of seemingly normal humans attacking you, are the result of a wave of passive evil mojo emitted by Giygas. The mere presence of Giygas brings the lifeless to life and stirs the latent hostility in the hearts of man, and they all want you not to get in his way.
7 dr. Jekyll’s Stressful Day – Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
There are few things more annoying to live with than a stress-driven superhuman alter ego, and if there’s two people who can attest to that, it’s Dr. Bruce Banner and Dr. Henry Jekyll. You wouldn’t think Victorian London would be such a stressful place to live, but the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde NES game seems like everyone in town is determined to ruin your day, from kids with slingshots to random passerby clubbing you on the head.
That wouldn’t be such a big deal if all that stress Mr. Unleashed Hyde, who is similarly threatened by bizarre supernatural creatures of the night. dr. J just can’t take a break.
6 Never irritate a disembodied brain – Brain Dead 13
In the opening cutscene of Brain Dead 13, snoring young computer repairman Lance encounters the disembodied brain of Dr. Nero Neurosis, who clearly has a plan to take over the world. Lance mentions Dr. Neurosis plays out for a bit, and the Doctor throws a violent tantrum, forcing all the monstrous inhabitants of his castle on Lance in revenge for his snarl.
Besides outsmarting these various creeps to stay alive, Lance must always keep moving in this game because Fritz, Dr. Neurosis, always chasing him. Simply being inactive on a screen for a few seconds too long results in an instant and often foolish death at Fritz’s hands. Uh, crochet.
5 The Many Deaths Of King Graham – King’s Quest Series
King Graham and his family are known in Daventry and beyond as wise and righteous people, but that’s based on the premise of competent player control. In just about every King’s Quest game, a simple misstep can lead to all kinds of sudden, violent deaths from unexpected sources, from being suddenly tackled from a mountain by a starving yeti to being strangled by a bunch of sentient ivy.
There was a reason Sierra’s old saying was “Save early, save often” – because in their games, you were never more than a few moments away from sudden death.
4 The Land Itself Hates You – STALKER Series
The alternate history version of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone explored in all STALKER games isn’t just a radioactive hellscape filled with vicious villains and wild animals. Due to the nature of the secret experiment that resulted in the Zone’s creation in the first place, the Zone itself exhibits a level of consciousness in the form of the Common Consciousness, and it’s not big on Stalker plagues roaming its borders .
This is why the Zone is full of not only monsters and mutants, but also dangerous, supernatural phenomena; it’s all a sign that the Zone doesn’t want you there, and it’s only too happy to end your life if you start poking around where you’re not wanted.
3 Snakes, Spikes, And Cavemen, Oh My – Spelunky Series
If anywhere you expected it to be full of death traps, it would be an ancient Inca temple. Those ancient societies were so good at building death traps, weren’t they? Sure, it’s hard to be interested in Spelunky, where they’re all aimed right at your forehead.
From mounds of peaks and lava covering every surface imaginable to populations of ferociously territorial wildlife, not to mention fiercely paranoid shopkeepers, the only truly safe place in Olmec’s Temple is beyond. However, you wouldn’t be much of an adventurer if you were put off by endless death traps, which is why you have to keep trying and trying.
2 “Prepare To Die” Edition – Dark Souls Series
From the very beginning, the Dark Souls series has made no effort to hide its joy in chewing up and spitting out players. That’s probably why the final edition of the first game was literally called the “Prepare to Die” edition. Anyone who plays a Dark Souls game knows what they are getting into.
You die, and you die a lot, and you die a lot in a very frustrating way, from being ambushed by an army of skinny guys with swords to being literally stomped on by several giant monsters. Even if you try to be proactive and take the plunge on those legions of bad guys, chances are there’s still a group of them waiting around the corner to rein you in all over again.
1 The belowThe World’s Worst Theme Park – CarnEvil
While you could say that every rail shooter ever made qualifies as a game where everything tries to kill you, a shooter that deserves special recognition is the classic precursor to childhood nightmares, CarnEvil. Everything in this carnival of the damned wants you dead, and they’re just downright merry about it.
From the pimply teenage ghosts in the Rickety Town food court to the disembodied hands poking out of the walls of the Haunted House, if it’s ambulatory it’ll probably try to rip your throat out. In fairness to the undead carnies, the legend of CarnEvil literally says they’re all going to do that if you revive them, so it’s kind of your own fault for feeding Umlaut the token.
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