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What do you get when your previous entries in a franchise go a little too “over the top” with gameplay changes and a story so well known that you have nowhere to go? Well, you’re rebooting the universe in a crappy third-person shooter action game that fails so hard you have to restart it… That’s how Saints Row was rebooted in Saints Row. After all the criticism of Saints Row 4’s use of superpowers and then Volition on its way to literal hell, and the failure of Agents of Mayhem, this modern reboot of the first Saint Row is bringing the franchise back to relevance, or is it the franchise for good. to bury? Let’s see.

Saints RowName: Saints Row
Platform(s): PC, PlayStation 4/5, Xbox One/Series X|S
Developer: Want
Publisher: Deep silver
Game type: Action adventure
Mode(s): Single player, multiplayer
Publication date: August 25, 2022

Story

Saints Row is set in the fictional city of Santo Ileso, located in the American Southwest, and loosely based on the city of Las Vegas, Nevada. Santo Ileso is under the control of three criminal gangs: Los Panteros, a rugged vehicle, and a fitness-focused gang; the Idols, an anarchist gang focused on clubs and nightlife; and Marshall Defense Industries, an international private military company based in Santo Ileso known for its advanced high-tech weapons. The player character, “The Boss”, is a former member of Marshall Defense Industries and assembles a new gang from disgruntled members of these gangs to seize power from them. These new members include Neenah, a mechanic who formally works at Los Panteros and serves as the gang’s driver; Kevin, a DJ who was part of the Idols and directs the execution of their heists; and Eli, a business entrepreneur with an MBA who plans the Boss gang’s operations.

As you’ve probably heard, the story of Saints Row is pretty bad… like, cringing bad… Saints Row does its best to retell the original origin story of The Saints, the gang you eventually start to tell make and create a criminal empire. While we already know this type of origin story because it’s the same type of story most first games tell, what makes this version of Saints Row bad is that it tries to be Saints Row 1 and Saints Row 2 while updating to be a to appeal to the current 20-year-old game crowd (yes, this is a Gen Z game) and to things they would hate in the world: crippling student debt, working for corporations, having to make rent, the current destroy establishment, etc. It is in that sense that I found the greatest contact with Saints Row. As an adult, I understand the whole “necessary evil” of having to live in the world and stick to what it takes to keep the world moving. Saints Row sees these things as something “evil” and makes it the main reason the gang comes together to be The Saints. I understand I want to give modern society a middle finger, something the Saints Row series did really well from Saints Row 2, but with Saints Row it just doesn’t feel the same. The boss (your player character) would go through the game with a “Fuck the world, because why the hell not?” attitude, but with Saints Row comes your motivation because you got fired from a Mercenary company and just don’t want to work anymore. This depression-based lack of motivation is more apparent in everything, taking a lot of fun out of the game.

The tone is a constant problem with Saints Row. Just when the game gives you a fun mission with a lot of the DNA of Saints Row 3/4, you get a story or moment that just drags it back into a depression. Two examples come from early missions where you have to compete against Los Panteros to get car parts back for the local JimRob store (formerly the funny RimJobs car store), which ends with you being “frozen” by your roommate Neenah because she is a member of the gang and you shouldn’t mess with the gang because it would hurt her feelings and access to the gang’s auto shop location. The other is when you go to FB’s (formerly Freckle Bitch’s) to get your friend Kevin a reissued kid’s toy and suddenly, in the middle of the mission, he starts talking about how he was an orphan and never used the toy. Again, Saints Row starts to show some funny and silly humor in the game, only to suddenly take it off to seem more “serious”.

(Sorry, short rant. Saints Row’s lack of humor is due to the backlash over Saints Row 3 & Saints Row 4, where the series morphed from a GTA ripoff to a parody of the more serious crime series, setting it apart from the People Online didn’t like this pitch shift so they complained and Volition listened which made Saints Row more serious in tone like the original and Saints Row 2 were… Which frankly don’t age well The original Saints Row is a totally dated crap game, and while the story of Saints Row 2 is excellent, the gameplay doesn’t age well at all.)

Saints Row

Graphics

Saints Row looks decent… For something that would have been made for PlayStation 3. For something made to play on modern consoles and PC systems, the graphics look and act like they are 2 generations old. You get the usual problems you had on PS3/X360, including pop-in texture, slow and limited loading of crowds and vehicles, screen cracks and the worst lighting I’ve seen in decades (and I started playing in 4K UHD- mode on the Xbox Series X, but was forced down to 1440p/60fps mode to get stable gameplay). Also try to avoid the 1080p High Quality or 1080p Framerate modes if you can as they look like absolute garbage.

Saints Row

Gameplay

For the most part, Saints Row plays pretty much the same as previous entries in the series. You get a mix of main story missions and side missions that end with winning money and respect. It’s these missions where Saints Row almost starts to feel the fun entries in the series again. You are given a mission where you use a wingsuit, tow a container through the city or chase a convoy through a sandstorm. These missions are great, but they are really limited. Most missions consist of shooting groups of enemies on the ground or on top of a car or performing missions like insurance fraud and others from the previous games. It’s with these more general missions that it feels like Volition made Saints Row using the Saints Row 3/4 system or ran out of time and just ported those missions over to make it to the release date.

The other disappointment is the great lack of anything that would be considered “non-serious”, “sexy” or “fun”. While you do get some more interesting customization options, like getting prosthetic limbs amputated, you don’t get anything that shows legs, butt, or cleavage for characters. This is more noticeable in the emotes (formerly taunts) section where there is a lack of fun bizarre options. It’s almost as if Volition made Saints Row the most non-offensive game in the world.

Then there are the vehicles, which drive like they are on ice or are too heavy to move… Except the bicycles, which drive like a hyperactive child on a high sugar content.

Saints Row

replayability

Yes, no… Just no. Play Saints Row once to get the whole story, then put it on the shelf or send it back. No replay value at all here, unlike the previous entries.

Saints Row

Closing

As a reviewer, I can see what Volition was trying to do with Saints Row, making a modern Gen Z remake of a classic game series that would set a new story for the next generation to grow up with, just like my generation had with the original 4. spell. However, by appealing to the only part of the market that doesn’t buy games, especially AAA corporate titles, they have alienated the hardcore fanbase from supporting the game. Taking away the over-the-top humor and the in-your-face sexual and offensive nature of the characters, Saints Row has gone from standing out as a parody of Grand Theft Auto, to just another Grand Theft Auto knock-out. off.

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Overview

Saints Row tries to be a stark, modern remake of the classic parody franchise, removing everything that stood out to the series, to begin with. Removing the comedy and attitude from the franchise turned Saints Row from a standout parody into yet another Grand Theft Auto clone. Do your best to avoid this until it drops to at least 50% off its original retail value or it hits something like Xbox Game Pass.

Pros

  • Sometimes touches the old Saints Row DNA

cons

  • Dated images
  • Terrible cringing storyline
  • Lack of anything that made the franchise popular