Destroy all humans! 2: Retested Review (PS5) – Back in the days of the PS2the original Destroy all humans! games brought me endless hours of fun just jumping on them and blasting some towns and farms into the air.

Playing with the human AI, throwing them around and upgrading my powers all felt fun and helped keep the game fresh, even if I kept myself using mostly the same strategies throughout the run.

Jump into the remaster of Destroy All Humans! 2: Reprobed shows me that not a whole lot has changed, and while that’s not a bad thing in some ways, not everything about these games has aged well.

The rose-colored glasses I wore when I first played Destroy All Humans! 2 consisting of childhood ignorance are gone, and much of what I once saw as the charm of the game is gone with them.

Destroy all humans! 2: Reprobed Review (PS5) – Aging Like Furon Milk

Disclaimer or not, The Cringe Remains

When Black Forest Games first recreated the original Destroy all humans!the studio placed a disclaimer at the beginning of the game, pretty much warning you that the remake will keep the game true to its time, and its time was filled with a lot of crude humor and language.

I played the original games, and while a lot of the context of what was said as a kid flew over my head, age has made me look like Drax, because now nothing goes over my head. I would catch it. And I did.

Disclaimer or not, it doesn’t do anything to make every bad joke awful to hear, and the compounding effect it has at the end of the game really made me wonder if I should just mute and unmute the subtitles whenever there’s a cutscene.

For the purposes of the review, I didn’t, although that was partly due to the length of the game, as it was over in a few hours anyway. But it’s exactly what I would do, if for some reason I was forced to play it again.

I understand the context of the setting in which Destroy All Humans! was created and that the original games were developed over a decade ago, before a lot of things really changed regarding the media we mainly consume today.

But the fact remains that in 2022, Destroy All Humans! 2: Reprobed falls flat on his face almost every time. It was never Crypto’s “clever humor” that caused Destroy All Humans! desirable to play, and playing this remake further confirms that.

Let’s blow things up already!

One thing that hasn’t changed about Destroy All Humans!, but remains a good thing, is the core gameplay. Flying around like Crypto, using my Zap-O-Matic to fool passersby, hurling people into space with telekinesis, exploding their heads to collect DNA.

It’s all just as crazy fun as in the original games. But this only really makes sense if you can run around in an area and let go. The same isn’t true for missions in the story, at least always, because unwelcome difficulty spikes make things more annoying than they should be.

But just because some of it stays fun doesn’t mean the gameplay is completely flawless. Much of Crypto’s arsenal is downright useless in light of the Zap-O-Matic and telekinesis. You really don’t need to use anything else for the whole game and other weapons can easily be forgotten.

The Disentegrator Ray is the other weapon you can use, but it has the same problem that prevents other weapons from becoming useful – their reliance on ammunition.

I know that sounds crazy, but that’s why the Zap-O-Matic might be the only weapon you should ever use. To reload you have to manipulate the environment around you and turn everyday items into ammunition by pressing the square button while standing next to it.

The problem is that you often end up with ammunition that you don’t need because it’s bullshit what you get. To get the ammo you want, you have to keep finding things around you to hopefully get the kind of ammo you’re looking for.

It’s overly exhausting and a poor game mechanic, leading you away from parts of the game.

With most of the battles you can forget, it’s hard to even consider the gameplay as really fun. It has aspects of fun, but those are made by the moments you make as a player.

Do whatever you want in the sandbox of Destroy All Humans! though it can only keep you busy for so long.

Flying is not where the fun begins

The same goes for flying around in your saucer. I never thought the dish was fun to operate, even as a kid, and it still is today. They are weapons on the other hand, sure are fun to fire.

The Death Ray, in particular, feels great, even if that’s partly because the cartoonish saucer firing a laser just fits perfectly with the game’s visual theme.

Other weapons are still a lot of fun, though they fall victim to the same ammunition problem, and controlling the saucer still has the potential to ruin your time in it.

You also need to gain health while in your saucer by using energy from vehicles, similar to how you collect ammo. The big difference, of course, is that you can’t get the “wrong” kind of health.

Although in the end it’s like running around like Crypto on the ground – it’s only fun for a short time. Like the rest of the game, it’s a superficial experience.

And that’s not always a bad thing, it just points to how little you can enjoy here.

It shouldn’t be so broken

The Bugs Affecting Every Aspect of Destroy All Humans! 2: Reprobeds are the most annoying to deal with, even though they have the potential for hilarious moments.

It’s not a stupid visual bug like NPCs sitting on a couch to have the couch run through their torso as soon as they do that bothers me, but constant screen cracks and frame rate issues do.

I also had the game freeze on a few points, although it only crashed once. While I’ve been getting updates since I started playing, issues with frame rates and screen tearing persist, as well as some more insane, but acceptable, bugs that resemble benches in torsos.

Those more minor visual bugs can even be seen in a positive light, keeping the game pretty much true to the original, warts and all. But constant performance issues feel just as unforgivable as in any other game, especially if they’ve been there throughout my entire game.

Audio bugs also persisted throughout the game, whether that was dialogue not heard, or sounds played at the wrong time. Although in this case, whenever the audio cut out into a cutscene, it was actually a moment of relief, more than anything.

Oh, The Furonity

Destroy all humans! 2: Reprobed may be almost the same game I rented from Blockbuster as a kid and played it in a few days, but after playing it again, I know I never want to go back.

The nostalgia I used to have for these games is completely gone, and there’s little to love about what’s here.

Certain things about the gameplay have not ceased to be fun, in the same vein as it will always be fun to jump on GTA and wreak havoc.

But that can only last so long, and having constant performance issues, on top of controls that don’t feel intuitive or fluid, and having to get through a plot full of obnoxious characters makes for a bad time.

I should also mention that the few alternate modes offered alongside the main campaign, such as co-op or duels, add little to a game that’s already way too much sizzle.

I can’t imagine anyone other than those who have played the original game and are willing to look beyond anything that goes with the game being “of its time” could really enjoy this remake.

Destroy all humans! 2: Reprobed is available on PS5 and PS4.

Review code generously provided by publisher.