After the last leg of my Tour De Jeux gave me a flat tire on my real bike, I started daydreaming about a bike repair game. A grubby game of vague deductive puzzles to rule out the many possible causes of similar symptoms. As far as I can find, no such game exists. But I did see two upcoming games with similar names: Bicycle Mechanic Simulator and Bike Mechanic Simulator 2023. Alas, I’m afraid they’re PlayWay-esque sims where you just click things in the right order then it all works tickety-boo. That’s not the bike repair I know and grudgingly enjoy.
In both games you run your own bike workshop. You assemble bicycles, repair bicycles and collect bicycles. I’m vague as all I have to do now is the sparse marketing material on the Steam pages for Bike Mechanic Simulator 2023 (due to launch in 2023, obvs) and Bicycle Mechanic Simulator (launch TBA). They look like they’re in the standard form of the ‘X Simulator games made by companies like PlayWay, but I hope not.
Even the most detailed simulator has been abstracted, cutting and simplifying elements as we can’t run reality in real time on a desktop PC. The interesting decision is where to draw this jagged line. For me, PlayWay-esque sims trim too much. They often turn complex, vague procedures into a series of tasks where you click on the piece you are asked to click in the order you are asked to click until it’s all done, like PowerPoint presentations with real-time 3D graphics. While I understand the appeal of a gentle game dressing up as your hobby, that’s not what I dream of.
I think bicycle repair can present interesting and challenging puzzles with investigational diagnosis, careful procedures, some capacity for bodges and the risk of messing up. A bicycle is essentially a fairly simple mechanical device: tubes, a few parts that twist or turn, then cable, chain, rubber, bolts, levers and bearings to tie them down and propel you forward. In theory, this device should be easy to repair. In reality, haha!
So many processes are analogous, about feel or balance or intuition, adapting to each rider’s needs and desires. Running a shaky wheel by tightening specific spokes, for example, is magic as far as I’m concerned. Then you have the mysteries of components that follow many incompatible competing standards, and the ability to put things together wrong (god help you if you forget which few parts are screwed to screw in the opposite direction and try to penetrate), and invisible mistakes like rotting your brakes from the inside by using the wrong type of hydraulic fluid. Little is just ‘do this until it’s done’.
My heart sank a little when the Bicycle Mechanic Simulator trailer suggested that the game could automatically thread the chain through a rear derailleur (the bit that changes the gears of a rear wheel) for you. If you can’t make the novice mistake of taking a wrong route through the spring-loaded jaws and not notice it until you hear a hellish rattle, is it even a bike repair? But again, I’m only guessing on screenshots and short trailers.
Maybe these games make you forget the assignment to reassemble a freehub’s nuts, bearings, seals and the like, as I certainly did (always take a picture!). You may be free to pump hydraulic brakes with the wheel removed, and spray mineral oil around your living room (cub). You may be able to scatter a fender bolt until friction melts the plastic washer (shut your mouth, okay). See, a pro shop once admitted to being so confused by my old bike’s brakes that they just banged on a few washers to forcefully adjust the distance. It wasn’t elegant, but hey, it worked. They would have a appreciation for that puzzle solution.
My most/least favorite stage of bicycle repair is identifying inconspicuous problems by sound. Rotate a pedal slightly by hand and listen for any cracking, scratching, squeaking or rubbing. Put your ear close and try to isolate it. Now press this part, squeeze, give that a twist and wiggle them (remembering that not all wiggles are bad). But perhaps an annoying noise manifests itself only when driving or speeding. It can be difficult to hear when riding because not only are many parts grouped together, but sounds can move through a bicycle frame and sound like they are coming from somewhere else. Hell, maybe you’re stumped because a mysterious squeak isn’t the bike at all, it’s the cleat on your cycling shoe. (And while I have no experience with carbon fiber, I know that a common technique for assessing suspected cracks is tapping it to check for another sound.) This sonic process is frustrating to work through at times, but always delightful to have solved. I could really enjoy this in a video game.
Is my vague wishing game actually edutainment? Do I want edutainment? Could be. But I feel like there’s a lot of fun puzzling potential in complex repairs, elusive mistakes, abused bikes, and esoteric vintage components (like the retro instant gear where you sometimes kick backwards, and modern reinterpretations of that). And what will you do if a customer wants to modify his or her bicycle in a way that will undoubtedly cause problems for him or her later on? Good opportunities for story and personality with repeat customers too – and humor if you need to fix their horrific DIY bodges. Some bikes seem held together by hose clamps, frame bags, oily clumps of dog hair, and a vow to hate god.
Like many who started cycling again during Covid-19, I had a neglected bike that needed work – and repair shops were lagging behind with all of us. So like other brave fools, I tried to fix some things myself. I did look for guidance. While I normally learn by breaking things and then figuring it out while panicking to fix them, the weeks of waiting for professional backup made this too risky. The biggest source was Hex Education from London Bike Kitchen, a lesson series via Zoom. That gave me enough confidence in the basics to tackle bigger tasks using Sheldon Brown’s encyclopedic knowledge and Park Tool’s YouTube videos. When I broke things, I felt equipped to recover (I like LBK’s motto: “fix shit or cry try”). I’m far from expert and probably just need to be proficient (I leave big jobs on my better bike to professionals), but I can and am happy to solve a lot of things myself. I’ve even worked on bikes for my friends, and they’re all still alive. Currently alive. It feels good. Currently.
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